Howdy folks. Recently I’ve been struggling for motivation to continue my work here. With my new son/daughter due in a few months (currently the size of a turnip FYI) I have been trying to visualise still finding time to write. I think I can still make time for it, but my issue is motivation.
Something has to give. I love my site, I love the community I have been incredibly lucky to have built up and I love the projects I’ve started. What I don’t love as such is what my site has turned into. I wanted this place to be somewhere I wrote some ramblings on horror films and the films I love. It evolved and grew into something much more than that. For me, the main reason for this is the IMDB project. 250 films, all reviewed by different people. Such a great idea (without being modest, plenty of people before me have done it!) and I figured it’s a great way to meet new people. And it has been, I’ve been inundated with requests to help and its been an amazing success so far. So many talented people have donated their reviews for the project, and I’ll be eternally grateful. Yet it’s led to the things I dislike most about my site.
- I have never given a 10/10 rating. I believe some films deserve it, and I’ll get to them eventually. Yet if you use the 10 stars tag you’ll see an amazing 23 films with this rating on my site.
- Seeing my A-Z include films such as Harry Potter, The Avengers & Star Trek destroys my soul a little.
- The worst part is using guest reviews makes me lazy. I want them to get the most exposure for the contributors as possible, which means I post once a day. Out of the 7 days in a week, I’ve been using 3/4 guest posts. Combined with my other projects like Desert Island & Question Time which are also weekly, I barely write anything.
It’s got to the point where I’m getting teased from friends about actually writing myself, or seeing Harry Potter for example on my site. I want my site to be something I built and wrote everything on it. However bad it turns out, the buck stops with me. I want my child/ren to one day see this and see what I wrote about (and the weird shit I watch). Kind of something that hopefully will still be around long after I’m gone.
I keep thinking about closing it down, but I want to carry on. I just want to do it without the IMDB films mixed in my A-Z index, or messing up my rating system. Believe me, this has been something long stewing in my mind. I’ve tried thinking of so many things I can change just so I don’t close my site. The final nail was after switching themes, the actual 250 film list I painstakingly made on the last site has been stretched and looks terrible on here. I don’t have the energy to redo it all.
So why am I boring you all with this essay rather than just doing it? Respect I guess. I feel so bad deleting the posts so many people spent time writing. I’m so sorry, and grateful for you doing them. If there is a way to carry it on, be it on a separate site we copy them across to, I don’t know but I’m open to suggestions and collaborations. I just know they can’t stay on here. Suggestions?? :(
I’m ultimately trimming the fat around here. I will of course be keeping the Desert Island project, and am always looking for new volunteers. And I’ll still be running Question Time. And my De Niro project where I watch and review all his films. But the main priority will be horror/indie/violent/my style of films and reviewing them. Myself. Stopping my laziness and hopefully getting my mojo back. These last couple of days writing Hostel/Saw has been great fun and I want to get back into the swing of it. I will be devastated to lose readers, as I imagine I might if people only came for the IMDB stuff. I just hope enough of you stick around to kep the good times rolling here. This is the only way I can think of to make my site what I always intended it to be. I just hope I don’t lose any of you in the process. Thanks for reading.